She's Not A Loser

It's been forever since the last time she posted something on her blog and the year couldn't have been more hectic that she had to give herself some space - by temporarily stopping herself from doing such things that she used to do back then. The bad news is that her father's getting sicker, day by day.

About two years ago, she, surprisingly not surprisingly, couldn't get herself to enroll or further her study to the next level after her CIE A-Level's result was out due to some conflicts with the sponsor and so forth in which I'm not gonna write about it over here.

So, her parents wanted her to further her degree in management course, instead of engineering which she read while accomplishing her A-Level, in a local PUBLIC university. Unfortunately, not many local universities (private ones are excluded) accept any enrollment using A-Level results and if there are any, the applicants have to directly apply to the universities' dean or higher post. The method(s) of doing so is/are not disclosed to public. Public universities usually reserve a small portion of quota for the first degree enrollment via A-Level qualification. She comes from a mid-income family background, so she, by hook or by crook, had to apply for public universities only instead of private universities which take less time of waiting but cost lots of money.

She decided to apply through the Unit Pengambilan Universiti (UPU) system and had to wait till the next year to do because she didn't expect herself from getting rejected by the sponsor to further her study abroad when the university that she applied for was still offering her the program.

She thought that the UPU system could be her second chance of getting herself into a university but unfortunately, she took some requirement needed lightly - i.e: having seated for MUET prior the application submission date as it is REQUIRED for Malaysian Universities for every local applicant to have their MUET result provided to the system. She thought she could just use her IELTS result instead of the former. Unfortunately for her, her application was rejected by any universities with the same reason, no MUET result is provided.

This situation has brought a drought to her relationship with her parents (her father especially) and they didn't communicate for weeks. To shorten the story, one day, her father asked her if she wanted to join a-week course of film producing and she said yes. That's the only way she figured out on the spot, she could run away from the problem for awhile, from her still-angry father and they did start talking eventually when her father had to pick her up at the course's venue.

Her friend, a junior by a year under the same sponsor as she did, flunked her A-Level as well and their batch was at a better position that her batch was at (the year before) - they still got offered to further their degree/master in their respective programs by the sponsor due to some inner conflicts between the sponsor body itself, y'know, when your kids flunked and they are sponsored by your company and you are the big shot of the company, you've got the power to influence others to give them a second chance (provided with lil' extra requirement(s) as you don't want others to sense any biases there). It really broke her heart to know such thing occurred when she'd been trying so hard to appeal to give the same second chance the year before but wasn't entertained at all.

She, however, tried to be positive, much more positive than she'd ever be. She calmed herself by constantly reminding herself this could be just another test from The Creator and perhaps she'd better not off abroad as she's better off to another path of the road.

The Creator knows the best for us and for her particularly, He sent her some help through her friend by informing her regarding a chance of enrollment to UiTM and the procedures and all. She was so thankful because she could see some little light there and started sorting things out; her feelings and all and the she applied to the university.

Things started to get better for her. She felt one of the reasons of her failure dated two years back must due to her lessening some the religious activities she always did like reciting al-Quran daily, practicing all the sunnah and the list goes on. She only did the compulsory ones and she even liked dunya more than the hereafterr.

She decided to change. Once change, change it for all.

She learnt that she could never take anything for granted and every test or burden is never too much for one to carry because Allah tests us according to our limits. She started to re-practice things and ibadah that can make you to be bestowed upon you sustenance - like reciting surah al-Waqiah and al-Mulk daily, charities, sunat dhuha and even zikr (istighfar and so on).

Things started to change. She secured herself for some jobs interviews and of them resulted her to be reserved as an employee. She also got accepted to be a part of UiTM and enrolled to the university few weeks ago. All is well.

sometimes you have to act deaf for you to succeed, striving for the excellence because you cannot simply mute other people's mouth. Instead of talking back and raise your negativity, it is sometimes better for you to keep some distance from the bad-talkers or just simply act cool in front of them. Show them your positive attitude. Influence them to do the same but NOT influenced by them. When the time has come, the positive ones are always a winner.